In this guide, we will show you everything you need to know about how to accept being alone forever, so keep reading!
Below you can find out 5 different methods to accept being alone forever,
- Method 1 – You Might Be Alone For The Rest Of Your Life – No Big Whoop!
- Method 2 – Are You Destined To Spend Your Life Alone?
- Method 3 – 5 Signs You’ll End Up Old & Alone
- Method 4 – Breakups: The Fear Of Being Alone (Forever) — Susan Winter
- Method 5 – Why I’m Okay Being Lonely – Understanding & Accepting My Loneliness
Method 1 – You Might Be Alone For The Rest Of Your Life – No Big Whoop!
Im alan robarge a psychotherapist and a relationship coach welcome to improve your relationships where i like to talk about. Attachment injuries and healing attachment trauma and on this video lets talk about the fear of being alone for the. Rest of your life and i am not going to sugarcoat this message and immediately jump in to care take. And make everyone feel good and to create some kind of empty platitude that says oh of course youll meet.
Someone of course youre going to be in loving healthy fulfilling relationship you know you wont be alone for the. Rest of your life i do not have a crystal ball so i dont know i dont know really whats. Possible but what we are going to talk about on this video is what is really going on when we. Look at that phrase the fear of being alone for the rest of your life and im going to turn. It into a statement a very provocative statement that says yes you are going to be alone for the rest.
Of your life and then i will join you and ill say i – im going to be alone for. The rest of my life so we have to begin to uncoded uncover what the heck are we really talking. About so at face value were talking about having a romantic partner significant other and living a life like the. People we see on facebook with all the smiling smiley faces and you know jumping up and down on the. Beach and sitting in the stands of a baseball game with your partner and everyone you know your your your.
Head is tilted in towards each other and you got that big fake smile on and you take a selfie. And you post it on facebook and we are so happy that we are living the life and if you. Dont have that you can feel left out because the culture says that too to not have that and to. Not live that type of romantic narrative playing out in your life that youre somehow less than and youre missing. Out on something and many of you / many of us many of you believe that you believe your life.
Is less than and that we then have this core fear of being alone and theres certain layers of what. This means you know some of this is about you know real isolation and abandonment and rejection a kind of. Alone were not so much afraid of being alone in the sense on a day-to-day basis of not having a. Partner were afraid of our own feelings were afraid of that deep dark place of emptiness and how it just. Can feel so incredibly like we have this a strong rash theres really strong poison ivy that just makes us.
Itch we we just do not or or were in the fire in a cauldron in a fight we cannot. Go to that place of really being alone now for many of us it links us back to some childhood. Feelings that were so overwhelming that we are accessing them from the point of view of the child so that. Im really entering the fear of my five-year-old self im really entering being frightened you know when i was eight. Years old and those moments of complete disconnect where i realized wow im really alone here and that perhaps you.
Have some history similar to that you have some history where as a younger self you really truly were abandoned. You really truly were ejected rejected you really really true truly was ignored and that is painful and your little. Girl self your little boy self your younger self your child so the part of you that still remembers what. Its like to be flooded and overwhelmed with the absence and the lack of connection and usually there is a. Very strong this is goes beyond a psychological awareness or psychological function it is a physiological neurobiological function where our.
Attachment system our nervous system is flooded with hormones and flooded with panic of disconnect because attachment attaching and bonding. And feeling connected is linked to our survival as a species so if you dont have that and youre in. This moment where youre realizing wow i am really abandoned here im really rejected here it can activate this core. Primal survival fear to say i need people i need connection i need to camaraderie i need to feel that. Im part of the community i need to feel that im part of the tribe i need to feel that.
Im part of the family and if we dont have this if we dont have this it can frighten us. So if we know this and we perhaps have this history it just seems completely illogical to ever embrace or. Even entertain the phrase maybe ill be alone for the rest of my life i mean it makes sense that. So many of us are going to completely have an aversion a strong aversion avoid it you know like in. Extreme disease like the plague something you know like i am not even going to entertain in my brain in.
My mind i am not even going to think about this idea that i could be alone for the rest. Of my life because it is going to link me to this history and to the feeling state and activate. My nervous system around survival and needing needing secure attachment and if i dont have that then i just totally. Implode meltdown come undone and life is too frightening and i you know i cant operate from that but so. Therefore i need to put blinders on i need to buffer myself from this reality this potential reality so heres.
The point of this thats a setup i mean all of what i just said is the setup to this. Video this part of the video is when we have the wherewithal the strength the psychic capacity to really drop. Into the potential that in fact you know what you you might you know you really might be alone for. The rest of your life and i join you im there with you i might be alone for this my. Life heres why im sharing this if we can move beyond how frightening that is based upon seeing it through.
The lens of our history and we try to see it as neutrally as possible as grounded as possible from. A contemplative observer self place to assess reality to say were not surprised some people are in relationships some people. Arent some people you know feel connected and some people dont if we really are able to be honest with. That reality and we drop down into saying stating i might be alone for the rest of my life something. Very interesting happens i have choice theres a spaciousness theres a freedom i can begin to not be frightened by.
That whole idea and i begin to put it into perspective to say well its not that shocking its not. That original of an idea if you went on the street and you said i want to tell you eating. Went to a stranger and you said hey i want to tell you i want to tell you something im. Aware of some people in this world will be by themselves and will will not have a partner and will. Spend the rest of their life if you said that to a stranger it isnt you would be really hard-pressed.
To find anyone who is surprised because we all know this this is not news so if we can drop. Into a more grounded place of neutral observation and we let in not the frustrating your based aspects of that. Statement but we really look at it honestly a hey you know what i might be alone for the rest. Of my life and hey you know what you might be alone for the rest of your life what i. Am sharing with you here is that even if that is a personal loss and you would prefer that not.
To be the case i challenge you to notice how to even say that from a neutral place all of. A sudden creates some relief and spaciousness that we do not need to be tortured by the history of that. Fear and abandonment and we do not need to be tortured with this idea of being deprived and left out. Of something and when were not tortured and when theres some spaciousness in our mind that we can we can. Welcome that idea it is not shocking its not a big deal maybe youre going to be alone the rest.
Of your life its you know big whoop maybe i am going to be alone for the rest of my. Life thats just you know one possible reality and if we can be so casual about it the way that. Im presenting it here it can greatly diminish linking into that history where were frightened from the point of view. Of our child self and we actually discover that there is some spaciousness some choice and we actually discover that. We can can can summons our own agency our own asserting our will well if this is true if it.
Is true that i very possibly will be alone for the rest of my life how the heck do i. Want to live out the next 30 years how the heck do i want to live you know depending on. How old you are how do you want to live out the next 20 years do you want to frame. It from the point of view that youre somehow lacking and missing something and that youre going to be tortured. And frightened by this very reality or is it possible that you can expand your understanding of you might not.
Get this one special is relationship of the special significant other where youre going to live together but you very. Much might be able to invest in friendships and community and other family relationships and realize that while life might. Not deliver and meet you in the way that you thought it would you still have a lot of life. Left to live and so to enter the frightening place and the distasteful place and the haunting place to really. Look in the mirror and say you know what its very possible this is as good as it gets im.
Not going to find you no i dont really think im going to find a partner for whatever reason i. Really dont think that you know im going to play out the romantic narrative and find someone to live happily. Ever after with and i might grieve the narrative i might grieve the story i might grieve the grasping of. Having wanted that so much so much but when were able to take a break from frightening ourselves with the. Possibility that this is not happening we can drop into a bit more of spaciousness and choice to realize we.
Still have life left to live and there are many many many many many other ways to find and create. Meaningful relationships it does not have to be in that one form so in fact to say i might be. Alone for the rest of my life is really giving me permission and freedom its inviting a freedom that i. Dont have to be bogged down in this perspective of loss i dont have to be bogged down in this. Perspective of being deprived you know you know life is not giving me this one special relationship we just shrug.
Our shoulders and say well isnt that interesting because theres this whole other set of ways to experience life differently. It might not be your first choice it might not be how you were interrogated by the cultural model of. What relationship is supposed to look like but i can pretty much guarantee its still rich its still meaningful it. Will still surprise you and it will give you a sense of belonging and connection and however on the outside. It might technically look like yeah youre alone well many people are it is okay it is okay if you.
Are alone forever its okay if you dont find that one special person do not implode into some personal wound. Around that belief there are other ways to orient and when we free ourselves from this narrative when we free. Ourselves from this very myopic way of grasping and desiring relationship then you open up some possibility for new new. Ways of relating and that is enriching that what thats what what provides a sense of belonging a willingness to. Adapt dont be so rigid about the way relationship needs to look it might not come in the form of.
A partner relationship and thats not a tragedy i mean thats the message this does not have to be a. Tragedy i hope that this is helpful thank you for watching if you like this video please subscribe here on. Youtube if you want to get the healthy relationship checklist go to my website and its alan robarge com forward. Slash checklist and you can sign up and have that emailed to you and then lastly if you also want. To learn more about me you can do so at my website thank you for watching and more videos to.
Come see you soon you.
Method 2 – Are You Destined To Spend Your Life Alone?
So recently i had gotten a comment from a viewer who expressed that they were quite convinced that theyll never. Find a light partner and will just wind up spending the rest of their life alone and one of the. Things that they said and i want to try to be as accurate in this as possible was that a. Lifetime of failure in dating and relationships had led them to a nihilistic view point in life and existential loneliness.
And despair now when i read those words it was like reflecting back on my own life at my own. Perspective not so very long ago up until just a few years ago i would have described my own life. In very much the same words and as ive gotten older ive come more and more to terms with that. Possibility and the reason im sharing all that this is because im sure there are many many other people who. Can relate to all of this as well who feel a growing sense that perhaps theyll wind up alone for.
The rest of their lives now for me my whole life as far as relationships go has been a long. Series of disappointments and recently ive been single for several years now the last serious relationship i was in i. Had thought that perhaps this might be the person im gonna spend the rest of my life with and looking. Back on that now i realized that theres been quite a few times when i thought that about the person. That i was in a relationship with and suffice to say none of them were and by the way i.
Should probably also mention that most of the relationships that ive been in did not end on my terms it. Was often the other person who came to that decision all on their own against my own wishes and in. Addition to that ive experienced a great deal of rejection in the world of dating and i found myself alone. For long periods of time between relationships never quite recovering from all the rejection and so ive experienced a great. Deal of heartache ive had periods of excruciating loneliness and deep despair now the last relationship i was in which.
Ended much like the others i found myself soon after beginning to look for someone new to open myself back. Up to meeting someone and for several months i was in fact meeting a number of potential partners but none. Of those situations evolved into anything and i was being revisited once again by that feeling of rejection and on. Top of all of that because of my own personal growth i was finding myself becoming increasingly more particular about. The kind of person i was open to being involved with i found that the vast majority of people in.
This world are very superficial and shallow especially when it comes to relationships and i dont have any interest in. Any of that nonsense in all the drama and conflict that most people create and so ive limited my prospects. Down to a very narrow perimeter and this means that for me the dating pool is more like a very. Tiny puddle and within that very tiny puddle there are certainly going to be those who dont consider me as. A potential partner so in some sense ive increased the potential for rejection and so with all of this combined.
All the dating and relationships which didnt work out the fact that ive narrowed my prospects and so on it. Occurred to me as it had a few times in the past that perhaps ill never find a lifelong partner. And that perhaps i may end up spending the rest of my life alone and not to say that i. Might not ever experience some romantic relationship again but given my past experience i have to consider that any future. Relationship is also likely to be tempered so that ultimately its really a question whether or not ill ever find.
Myself in a lifelong partnership what if i never meet someone who i spend the rest of my life with. What if i just end up spending the rest of my life alone and when that thought first comes up. In the mind it can be very unsettling disturbing depressing because we dont want that we want just the opposite. Of that which means even though were considering this as a possibility we dont really accept it were resistant to. It and putting both optimism and pessimism aside and just being realistic i had to face that possibility that its.
A very realistic possibility not to say i had completely closed myself off from the possibility of ever having a. Light partner or that i wasnt open to meeting such a person but i was having to consider that both. Of these situations were valid possibilities so to be realistic there is that realistic possibility that one may spend the. Rest of their life alone and i know a lot of people who are in that place in their lives. Would like to be comforted with some kind of reassurance for someone to tell them dont worry youll meet someone.
One day who is going to be a perfect match and youll spend the rest of your lives together and. Ive had people tell me that and its nice to hear but when youre in that place its very difficult. To believe it considering the current situation and considering all the previous experiences its very difficult to imagine that this. May be true we want for it to be true we want to believe that we will indeed meet that. Person with whom we will live happily ever after but theres a part of us which is deeply skeptical of.
This and until we actually find ourselves in that situation the tendency is to continue to be skeptical well im. Not the kind of person who goes around offering people fantasies and false hopes so lets just not even play. That game lets consider the very realistic possibility that perhaps you will end up spending the rest of your life. Alone instead of trying to distract from this or to convince ourselves otherwise lets just consider it a real possibility. In fact lets just imagine for a moment that the future is predetermined and weve gotten it from a very.
Reliable source that we are indeed destined to be alone for the rest of our lives if that were an. Absolute fact could we accept it if it were set in stone and there was absolutely nothing that we could. Do to change it could we just accept it because whats the alternative if were in a situation that would. Cannot change we really only have two choices we can accept it or we can resist it and resistance always. Causes us to suffer because even though the situation is as it is in our mind we reject it we.
Wont accept it psychologically were resisting reality and that causes us to suffer and no amount of suffering can change. Anything so the whole thing is unnecessary and useless so the only other alternative is to accept it and i. Mean really accepted because oftentimes we say that we accept something but what we really mean is that we acknowledge. The situation or the possibility which its not really the same as acceptance because you acknowledge something and you still. Refuse to accept it and as long as theres any psychological resistance at all that means we havent fully accepted.
It acceptance means to drop all of your resistance so after having been in a relationship for a few years. And once again finding myself single and also finding myself rejected by one person after another i was coming back. To this possibility that perhaps i might be alone for the rest of my life but instead of resisting that. Possibility i decided to just accept it what if i just let go of the need to be in a. Relationship what if i just embrace being alone what if i embrace the possibility that i might not ever find.
A lifelong partner what if i let go of whatever resistance i have to all of that and just relax. Into this moment right here right now and as i came to terms with all of this letting go of. The resistance and coming into a space of acceptance i found myself experiencing a great sense of liberation and inner. Peace and ive been single now for several years and ive also been happier that i have in all my. Life i really enjoy being alone and i dont have any interest right now in being in a relationship and.
Ive said before that im not closed off to that possibility if i happen to meet someone who im really. Aligned with and it evolves into a romantic partnership im open to embracing and exploring that but im not looking. For it im content where i am and i know this probably seems difficult to imagine if someone had come. To me when i was in that place of deep despair and loneliness and told me all of this if. They had told me that i could be happy just being alone i probably wouldnt have believed it i might.
Want for it to be true but i think i would find it very difficult to believe i would probably. Think they dont really understand my situation that they havent experienced this for themselves that they dont really know what. Its like to be lonely and depressed even if they said to me that they had been through all of. That i would probably be a bit skeptical because when youre in the midst of that despair thats all you. See an experience its like being in a thick fog and you cant see anything beyond that so the assumption.
Is that the fog is everywhere that it extends out indefinitely in all directions but the reality could be at. Fog is actually very small and you just happen to be right in the middle of it which means you. Cant see how small it actually is your perspective is obscured by it someones standing outside of the fog might. See that its only occupying a very small area and that everywhere else its clear and sunny but to the. Person who is in the fog all they see is fog and nothing else and from that perspective it can.
Seem as if this is how its always going to be especially if youve been there for a long time. And if thats been your experience for most of your life then you begin to get the sense that its. Always going to be that way and its hard to be convinced otherwise well lets suppose that it is that. Way im not gonna fight anyone on that if you have the sense that its always going to be that. Way then i would challenge you to just fully accept that because if you really believe its never going to.
Be any better than this then why not just accept it and i mean really accept it because when you. Fully accept something it no longer bothers you youre at peace with it so if this is something which is. Still bothering you that means youre still resisting it so can you let go of that resistance and just accept. Things the way they are and like many things this is going to seem like its a lot easier said. Than done its easy to talk about acceptance its easy to have some conceptual understanding of it but to actually.
Do it is something altogether different and thats going to be entirely up to you no one is going to. Do it for you so youre going to have to commit to it to commit to letting go to releasing. Whatever expectations and attachments you may have whatever resists you have in regard to all of this and to embrace. Where you currently are in your life to embrace the reality that you are alone right now without a partner. And to find value and opportunity in that what benefit might there be in them perhaps its an opportunity to.
Really go more deeply into yourself and discover who you are perhaps its an opportunity for you to pursue your. Passion or to develop some skill to really focus on whatever you need to be doing for yourself without the. Distraction of a relationship because relationships can be very distracting you have to give so much time and energy and. Attention to this other person maybe right now what you need is to give yourself that time and energy and. Attention so find the opportunity see what this situation has to offer you not by trying to force it in.
Any way but just by looking at it and asking yourself what can i learn from this how can i. Grow from this and perhaps by observing whatever emotional disturbance is going on in you the loneliness the sadness the. Frustration and so on and asking yourself what desire or expectation is behind this feeling and can i release that. Can i let go of that and rather than dwelling on the future whether on the possibility of finding a. Partner or spending your life alone can you bring your attention back to this moment right here and just embrace.
The current situation the current reality just as it is because the future is unknown we dont really know whats. Going to happen we can only speculate all we have right now is this moment so why not forget about. The future altogether and just live right now in this moment fully and attentively and let the future unfold of. Its own if you find value in this content be sure to like share and subscribe.
Method 3 – 5 Signs You’ll End Up Old & Alone
Note – This section will be updated soon.
Method 4 – Breakups: The Fear Of Being Alone (Forever) — Susan Winter
Note – This section will be updated soon.
Method 5 – Why I’m Okay Being Lonely – Understanding & Accepting My Loneliness
Hey there guys hows it going today welcome back to another video on this channel im kenny stall and i. Want to talk a little bit about loneliness because ive shared a lot with you guys about how im a. Lonely guy how i dont have friends and that sort of thing but to be honest with you things have. Changed for me a little bit over the past few years and my attitude or my feelings around being lonely.
Is different im more okay with the fact that i dont have friends and the fact that im sort of. Lonely because im learning that thats just kind of who i am that social interactions is not really my thing. Im not really that good at it a lot of times i dont know what to say to people when. I talk to people so its very hard for me to build relationships im kind of awkward around people and. That sort of things so im kind of just learning that maybe its best for me to just be by.
Myself a lot and do things for myself and this gives me an opportunity to focus on doing things that. I want to do and you know maybe it just makes sense you know to just kind of be the. Solitary loner and i know that a lot of people struggle with loneliness you know after putting out the videos. On my channel talking about this my mind was kind of blown when i realized that theres so many people. Out there that are lonely and its crazy i didnt know it i didnt know how almost universal this feeling.
Of loneliness is and ive actually learned too that loneliness isnt really something that is something that only people with. No friends have ive learned that people can feel lonely even when they have relationships and i know that this. Is something where people have been confused because ive mentioned before that i have a girlfriend and ive had for. Many years now and people just dont understand people are confused saying kenny how is it possible for you to. Be lonely when you have a girlfriend and i realized that there are actually two reasons why people are lonely.
And there theyre different the first reason that people could be lonely is because they literally dont have relationships they. Dont have friends they dont have a girlfriend or boyfriend or romantic relationship they dont spend time with their family. A lot or at all and when they do go to work or when theyre in public they dont interact. With people theyre just kind .
Conclusion – How To Accept Being Alone Forever
The purpose of this post is to assist people who wish to learn more about the following – how to be comfortable being alone | robin sharma, accepting loneliness, accept the fact that i will be alone forever, to anyone feeling lonely, how to be single forever (for real!), owning alone: conquering your fear of being solo: teresa rodriguez at tedxwilmington, how i learnt to love being alone (and you can too) ✨, how to get rid of loneliness and become happy | olivia remes | tedxnewcastle, if you’re feeling lonely use these 6 secrets to find yourself| jay shetty, embrace being alone – jordan peterson (best motivational speech), enjoy life alone – jordan peterson (best motivational speech), feeling lonely? this might help… | russell brand, 3 signs you might be single forever, the high price we pay for our fear of loneliness, to anyone feeling single and lonely. . ..
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