In this guide, we will show you everything you need to know about how to accept criticism, so keep reading!
Below you can find out 5 different methods to accept criticism,
- Method 1 – How To Take Criticism Without Getting Defensive
- Method 2 – The Best Way To Accept Constructive Criticism
- Method 3 – Dealing With Criticism
- Method 4 – How To Best Handle Constructive Criticism
- Method 5 – “Run, Hide, Or Say Thank You: When Faced With Feedback, What Do You Do?” Joy Mayer At Tedxcomo
Method 1 – How To Take Criticism Without Getting Defensive
Have you ever wondered how to take criticism without getting defensive defensiveness is one of those things that come so. Naturally but theres some ways to overcome it why why would you want to learn how to handle criticism without. Being defensive one good reason that ill put out right at the front here defensiveness validate accusation think about what. Im saying defensiveness validates accusation if someones accusing you of something and you become all defensive it validates the accusation.
It tells them oh yeah youre onto something here youve hit a soft spot here youve got me right even. If youre not guilty the defensive no stenz to give that feeling that youre guilty because youre trying to cover. It up alright yeah why are you being so defensive must have something to hide so the whole why behind. This i think is important right up front defensiveness validates accusation now lets look at a different piece of this. Because everyone has an opinion right i heard long ago that opinions are kind of like armpits everybody has them.
And they all stink well does your opinion stink not necessarily but theres a difference between facts and opinions and. Really the one that were more familiar with is opinion because everybodys got them when someone criticizes you what theyre. Doing is expressing their opinion not fact if you take it as fact then you might be more likely to. Be defensive so lets start out by just reframing that in a way that allows us to see it less. Personally and realize that it is simply an opinion everybody has one and we dont have to respond to that.
As if its an attack so in our own mind now its simply listening to someones opinion instead of debating. Or disputing a particular fact or point of fact now when someone shares their opinion with you heres another insight. That helps us to handle it in a way that we dont become defensive really theyre telling us more about. Them than they are telling us about ourselves their opinion is just that its their opinion i had a buddy. Who used to say it this way what other people think about you is not a business thats helpful its.
Their opinion its their business its not about you its really more about them than it is about you do. You see the defensive nough starting to melt away already okay along these same lines lets take a look at. This concept feedback feedback is a word that means youre getting input back from something that youre interacting with so. In the case of criticism what if you were to think of criticism as feedback rather than criticism or attacking. Well you dont have to be defensive about feedback its simply information information about what information about that persons opinion.
It may or may not be about you at least not as much as you think it might be so. Lets say that someone tells you youre so sensitive as if thats a bad thing i think sensitivity might be. A really great thing to have but lets say that its kind of said that way oh youre being so. Sensitive all right feedback feedback its information its information about what its information about the person whos giving you the. Feedback we could easily interpret it too mean my experience of you is that you are sensitive okay or i.
Experience you to be sensitive now i add the experience piece in there because really thats all they have they. Have their own perceptions they dont know you they dont know you as well as you know you theyre not. Inside of you they dont know what operates you so they cant really say that youre sensitive is a fact. Theyre offering it as an opinion my experience of you is that youre sensitive okay as feedback i can take. That information in oh that person experiences me to be sensitive hmm and now i get to think about it.
Right hmm i wonder what it is about me that has them experiencing me as sensitive okay disclaimer nobody thinks. Like this im a psychologist right and so im getting into all of the metacognition and thinking about our thinking. I think its helpful though for you to just pause and take a look at that for a minute what. If you were to process it more along those lines oh im getting feedback that im sensitive hmm think about. It what is it about me or my behavior that might have that person experiencing me as being sensitive okay.
Because maybe it doesnt fit inside of me and i dont think im sensitive the way they think but instead. Of being defensive simply taking it in as information and im asking another question at that point i might come. Up with some pretty brilliant stuff right like oh i get it i reacted in this way to that circumstance. And that has them experiencing me as being sensitive even though in the back of my head im thinking im. Not really that sensitive okay well is that helpful information sure potentially it doesnt mean that i need to be.
Defensive it doesnt even mean that i need to change anything it might simply in for me about what behaviors. I have how im showing up in this world that has people experiencing me in any particular way so i. Use the word sensitive what if they say oh youre such a jerk okay i can get defensive about that. Which means yeah i think youre right let me see if i can fight you on that point no i. Dont want to get defensive defensive miss validates accusation so instead i see it as feedback feedback his information information.
About who oh its more about them than it is about me okay interesting that person is experiencing me as. Being a jerk what is it about me or my behavior that might have them experiencing me that way oh. Yeah i kind of cussed at him the other day hmm okay i can kind of see how they would. Come up with that see im not agreeing that im a jerk im simply inventory my own behavior and thats. Useful the information we get is feedback so that may be the most important thing from this whole video criticism.
Can be redefined as feedback feedback is simply information about the person giving the feedback that triggers some helpful questions. In our own mind so that we can check out how were showing up dont be too quick to own. It because facts and opinions are not the same thing even though theyre very similar in appearance sometimes two more. Quick ideas before we wrap up what if they really intended to criticize you its not meant as feedback well. Yeah sometimes thats the case i think youre still in a better stronger position if you consider it as feedback.
Even if its intended to cut you down its still the worst thing that you can do is add offensiveness. And then heres another little piece say thank you i know weird huh instead of getting defensive remind yourself practice. This say thank you for what for the feedback feedback is valuable it should always be not necessarily consumed or. Inhaled okay but consider it because its valuable information that might inform you well as you move forward in your. Other relationships so say thank you and you might follow that up with something like thank you for that feedback.
I will certainly consider it alright theyre not expecting that theyre gonna look at you kind of weird but what. Kind of a powerful positions that puts you in youre in charge of this youve got this thank you for. Your feedback thats powerful i love the way understanding these principles helps us to move forward on purpose honored to. Be on your team ill see you tomorrow i saw standing in the.
Method 2 – The Best Way To Accept Constructive Criticism
Note – This section will be updated soon.
Method 3 – Dealing With Criticism
Note – This section will be updated soon.
Method 4 – How To Best Handle Constructive Criticism
Whats up you too jeffy style oh gee you know todays video were gonna talk about how you can best. Handle constructive criticism if youre new to the channel we release a new video every day at 4 p.m. Eastern. Discussing various mens lifestyle topics such as style rooming indeed i invite you to subscribe and join a notification squad.
And join us and to my returning friends like fly captain 585 lou now for most people myself included criticism. Even when its constructive is one of the hardest things to accept but one of the things i want you. To realize that constructive criticism especially can be a valuable tool that we can use to improve as men but. Just how do we do it and how can we effectively not take it personally and use it as a. Tool well thats what im going to talk about in todays video were going about six or seven steps that.
You do when you confront it with some constructive criticism so without further ado lets get into it now the. First thing you need to do when someones offering criticism might be the hardest part thats to do nothing i. Know that might feel kind of counterintuitive but heres what you need to do when you get the criticism stop. Assess the situation and more importantly assess the source of the criticism remain calm and dont say a thing count. To maybe five or ten to make sure youre not overreacting or being defensive now the second step is to.
Remember the importance of criticism remember criticism no matter what the source can be a valuable tool it can help. You in relationships you work your career skills a lot of things so again before you react remember criticism can. Be a positive thing now for our third step of how to best handle criticism i gotta be honest you. Throw myself under the bus its the one i struggle with the most thats to make sure you listen for. Understanding and not for your response now heres how i mess up someone is coming with a criticism or any.
Type of dialogue and im waiting to pick it apart like a lawyer oh and thats wrong thats wrong wait. Til i get my turn to talk you dont want to do that that doesnt lead to any productive dialogue. So what you want to do is stop dont respond immediately listen to it and that they have their say. Repeat it back to them and say hey did i get what youre trying to say to me did i. Understand then you move on to the next step but make sure you dont do what the stylo g would.
Do at this point which is look for holes in their argument that you can pick apart like a defense. Lawyer that doesnt help that doesnt mean the understanding and doesnt help us make productive use of constructive criticism now. For step might be just as difficult especially if you feel like the person is coming at you you actually. Want to thank them for the criticism tell me you appreciate they took the time out to see what youre. Doing and give you something that can help improve you even if its a troller somewhat negative you can a.
Lot of times take some negative because what happens a lot of times when people do criticize even a witness. A negative you notice a little bit of truth in it so it actually helping you even if thats not. The intention so stop thank them for helping you with the constructive criticism now for our fifth step its time. To get a little deeper and ask questions so you can get a deep dive and what the criticism is. Heres what you need to do ask them can you give me an example when you saw me exhibit this.
Type behavior or better yet could you probably tell me if theres a one time thing i do or is. It a pattern that way you can kind of get a feel of where theyre coming from then once you. Know if its a one time thing or a pattern you can kind of do a deeper dive and come. Up with concrete solutions not least on our sixth and final step on how to handle criticism ask them for. A follow-up heres why this is important you may be kind of emotional defensive when youre getting the criticism you.
Want to both take some time to step away process would happen and make sure you had a clear understanding. Of where theyre coming from so you want to settle meeting for the next time you can get together bring. Up the issues again see if you understood articulated problem solution and thank them again i hope you understand the. Value of constructive criticism it can actually be used to improve ourselves as men make us better and our work. Relationships all kinds of things especially we take it use it as a tool to improve if you value it.
It can be very productive okay so there you have it my best tips on how to best handle constructive. Criticism lets know in the comments section if you have advice on how to handle that criticism as always i. Hope you enjoyed the video if so hit that like button it helps the channel to grow and of course. Tap the notification bell so you dont miss it we release every day at 4:00 p.m. Eastern and ill meet.
You here tomorrow.
Method 5 – “Run, Hide, Or Say Thank You: When Faced With Feedback, What Do You Do?” Joy Mayer At Tedxcomo
You good morning so when i think about feedback i think about approaching life as a conversation a conversation that. Involves listening as well as talking im thinking of listening the words of course but also to actions are we. Open to hearing the reactions we receive and are we willing to adapt i want to start with an example. Of personal feedback for me one night my older son was reading harry potter out loud to me and while.
He was reading i looked down at my iphone i intended to just sneak a glance but i ended up. Reading a whole email he noticed of course and he put his hand on my chin and turned my head. Back toward him so lots of possible ways i could react in that situation who me i can totally read. And listen at the same time dont worry about it or you know enough already go to bed its past. Your bedtime so lots of possible ways to react the opportunity is to take in the feedback and decide how.
Youre going to adapt to it a very smart art teacher told me that she had learned during critiques of. Her work to no matter what was said swallow breathe and say thank you working to find value and even. The harshest of criticism even when it feels like a punch to the gut because dont you want to know. Feedback starts with being open to change are you interested in improvement thats where engagement begins an improvement leads to. Better relationships whether youre talking about personal relationships or between the business and a customer its a little bit like.
Being on a date so if youre on a date with a vampire and you start to ask him questions. Why are you so cold why are your eyes bright red why arent you eating you have to filter right. And decide am i annoying him with all of my questions should i just back off or is this okay. Or maybe youre sharing a sloppy plate of spaghetti and you think oh i have this really cute idea about. Sharing spaghetti i dont know will she find it gross or am i doing okay youre watching for cues you.
Have to be at least a little vulnerable to have a successful date right you have to be willing to. Pick up on cues and see how youre doing should i tell more stories about my cat or is he. Getting a little freaked out another way to look at this is being adaptable as a professor and as a. Parent i try to teach adaptability because i think it leads to resiliency life is not about things going perfectly. The first time its about how we adapt to what we receive so my feedback can feel to my students.
And to my kids like roadblocks or at least speed bumps and i hope to teach them that speed bumps. Are a natural part of life to be navigated rather than letting them shut you down the friction we encounter. Is a natural part of life friction makes us suitable spouses better friends more productive employees more successful creators we. Just have to learn how to deal with that friction so i want to talk for a minute about what. Friction and feedback has felt like lately in the business that i love im in the news business and i.
Refer to it like a business even though im not on the business end of things because i like to. Get a paycheck i prefer to do work that people find value in and will pay for so the journalism. That im a part of is very mission driven its very you know were in it because we want we. Think that what we do can improve lives can help people live their lives can help communities function if we. Were in the news business just to make money we would get very creative with pictures of giant cats and.
If i were going to get very creative with pictures of giant cats it would be pretty clear that my. Metric for success would be how many newspapers i sold because my other metric for success is whether i have. Improved lives and help people navigate their communities the metrics for success are much more complicated determining what those metrics. Are is also complicated too often we tend to decide by ourselves well you know we find and our neighbors. Find what were doing to be really valuable and useful so we should just keep doing that this is a.
Scene from the tv show mad men where theyre trying to decide how to sell dog food so they bring. In customers and their dogs and watch through two-way mirror while they eat dog food so this is the kind. Of small sample size that news used to work off of what we know is what people we bring people. In on a tuesday night we give them free cookies and they tell us what they want to see in. The news theyll often say they want more world news not more celebrity news and then well make all these.
Decisions about what we put on the front page based on what these people told us not how they behaved. But what they told us and what they thought we wanted to hear weve come a long way and especially. With online readership i would have to actively work to avoid all the feedback i have available to me about. How people consume my products i can know how many came of course but where they came from where they. Live what other stories they read how long they spent what theyre searching for so talk about instant feedback while.
My newsroom is critiquing a beautifully produced three-minute video story i can look and see whether readers also found value. In spending their 3 minutes with that story or if they got bored halfway through instant feedback and dont you. Want to know i can also ask any time i want how am i doing so during a recent snowstorm. When we were publishing a lot more on social media than usual we asked how are we doing is that. Too much and we get instant feedback people also give us feedback when we dont ask so as were debating.
How do you share olympics results without spoiling it for people who want to wait in watch on tv somebody. Amplifies our message and says hey this is how you do it right on so the question is are we. Listening and are we willing to take feedback like this and incorporate it into how we make decisions readers these. Days expect a response this is the case of somebody sending me and sending my newsroom a question about a. Local news event well i love that dont you want the to expect a response isnt that valid thats part.
Of listening i want the kind of relationship with my community that is an actual conversation that is not we. Leave room for people to talk and then we walk away and let them talk and dont take what theyre. Saying back into account and dont participate in the conversation ourselves this is an email i got from a reader. Just last week since youre the only one i know on staff im sending this to you to see if. You can check this out for me it seems a little odd but a relative forwarded to me i wonder.
If its something that needs to be brought to the attention of the public could you let me know and. What she sent was one of those four words we all get in our email all the time this one. Was about drano and whether if you combine tin foil and drano in a soda bottle whether that could lead. To a small explosive device so she sent that to me on this day she hoped that i would be. Her personal journalist to help her determine whether that was true now we all get a lot of email i.
Got a couple hundred a day through the newsroom this one is not sent to the whole newsroom this one. Was sent to me its a reader i had a small relationship with she had contributed stories to me in. The past when i correspond with readers i always include an invitation that is something like if you see something. You think is news i hope youll get in touch so on this day she got in touch and she. Didnt just send it to me for a story she said could you let me know so i take ten.
Minutes introduce the lady to snopes.com turns out the drano thing is true but it has not been reported in. Missouri so i email her back the message im sending to her on that day is your questions matter your. Priorities matter when i asked you to get in touch if you had questions i wasnt being rhetorical heres my. Answer your questions matter even if theyre inconvenient even if i disagree with them even if i think theyre irrelevant. Even if youre telling me that if i want to stay relevant i need to adapt its no secret that.
The news industry is changing its pretty remarkable how quickly its changing just 15 years ago i worked in a. Newsroom where the paper was put together it was pasted up using exacto knives long columns of text come out. Of a printer you cut it apart put it together like a giant tetris game roll wax on it shoot. A picture send it to the press so this is a really specific skill that became obsolete almost overnight my. Industry the work that i love and am passionate about is partly in the hands of people who have to.
Acknowledge that theyre freaked out acknowledge that their skills might not be as relevant as they used to be and. Choose to adapt choose to get excited by possibilities choose to take the friction and let it smooth you out. My industry is partly in the hands of people who choose to be tigger naughty or people who choose to. Zig and zag who choose to have energy who choose to engage not who see a roadblock and sit down. And give up so if you want to know if what youre doing is working if youre meeting the needs.
Of the people around you whether thats your customers or your nine-year-old just ask feedback begins with being open to. Change and if theres one thing ive learned from feedback its that listening to harry potter is better than reading. Email thank you you.
Conclusion – How To Accept Criticism
The purpose of this post is to assist people who wish to learn more about the following – how to deal with criticism, how to accept criticism at work, how to deal with criticism | marisa peer, “how do you handle criticism?” interview question & brilliant answer!, joel osteen march 2017 – how to handle criticism 198, how not to take things personally? | frederik imbo | tedxmechelen, pbis video of “accepting criticism or a consequence.”, how to deal with criticism, how i deal with criticism – jordan b peterson, criticism (how to give and take feedback) – teal swan -, how to give effective criticism | the art of manliness, how to handle criticism at work – project management training, class notes: give & take — how to respond to feedback, listening to feedback, criticism doesn’t have to bring you down.
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